they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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