I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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