Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
