remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Screwed.edu
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
