i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
