Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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