And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Terrible idea I love it
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
