why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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