i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
