Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
