I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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