i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
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