But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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