ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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