i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
