I'm really into asian looking animals
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
