At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
