im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
It's just like the Real World with babies
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
