Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
