Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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