stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
there was a trapeze. enough said
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
