Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
birth control should be required to get into college
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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