i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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