I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
