Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize