ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
