LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
