i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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