All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
