Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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