that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
