His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
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