i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
did you just send me my own nude
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
