YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I need a beard to bite.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
