Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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