since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
