Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
where am i from again
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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