yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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