dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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