i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Bang-toberfest begins!!
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
