I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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