You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize