i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
