I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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