Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
