i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Randomize