I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
