Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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