did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
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