Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
