Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
