Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize