The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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