Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
