now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Randomize
