i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
