We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
