Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
