I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
